Why do we have so much negativity or what some may call “heavy emotions” on Living alone after other no longer live with you. Empty nesting is a significant life transition that many single parents face when their children leave home to start their own lives. First, I would think you should have happiness that your children are thriving. This was the goal in raising your children. Take pride in that and realize this is a natural part of life.
As well you should realize that you are not alone. In the U.S., single‑person households made up 28.9% of all households in 2022, more than double the percentage from 1962. [cdc.gov]. However, that may not mean much, for those who find this time of life particularly challenging. Yet this is also an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. A way to develop your Twilight Kaleidoscope. This is a time to develop new interests or re-explore interests you had previously.
Here are some things I have used in this “empty nest” time of life:
Feel Your Feelings
When your kids move out, it’s totally normal to feel all kinds of things — sad, lonely, a little lost. Let yourself feel whatever comes up. No judging, no pressure. Noticing your emotions is the first step in finding your footing again. Smile, even if you don’t feel like it. Recognize these feelings are normal. As my dad would say, “This too shall pass”. Now, that is not to say that you won’t have those feelings again at times. It is a loss.
Get Back to What You Love
Now that you’ve got some extra time, it’s a great chance to dive back into hobbies or interests. Have you put any hobbies or interests on pause. Painting, gardening, traveling, learning something new — whatever makes you happy.
Have you heard about rock painting? This is a hobby that a family member has picked up. She has also left them on her walks and others have found them. They re-hide them on their walks. One of her rocks have made it to the other side of town. So, great for all to participate in a fun activity.
This is not an expensive hobby and it may lead to other hobbies like art work. If you aren’t into painting on rocks, how about carving into them.
Of course, your carvings may be different than these below that are along the river in Moab, Utah. You can do something similar. There would certainly be a conversation piece in your yard. I may do something like this with Japanese symbols for my Japanese garden. You can make your kaleidoscope what you want it to be and it can be full of color and life.
How about just a small flower garden? Or even a tall ornamental grass area. Go for the things that spark joy or make your kaleidoscope beautiful to you.
Hobbies – that may be be obvious
Do you enjoy history? There are many podcasts about history that may interest you. Books about history. You can learn and fill your life with your interests.
Did you know that Grandma Moses in her 70s couldn’t do needle work anymore, so she picked up painting again. Something she had enjoyed in her youth. She didn’t use expense anything. She used what she had available. She was “discovered” when an amateur art collector saw her little painting in a local small drug store window. Her paintings brought joy to her and to many people. Her paintings reminded people of simpler times in the aftermath of war.
Not that you will be “discovered” but it will lift up your soul. It could also bring joy to your family/friends.
Find your tribe
You don’t have to go through this alone. Lots of folks are feeling the same way. Try joining an empty‑nest group (online or local) or just chat with family and friends.
Find trivia in your area. Many people of all ages can “bond” over a trivia game. Social painting party event. Or even socializing your dog at a dog park. Americans love their pets. They should. Having a pet to take care of can also help with your empty nest process.
Social connections are strongly linked to overall well‑being. People with weak social ties—regardless of living arrangement—have greater health risks and lower happiness. [ourworldindata.org]
Take care of yourself
This is a perfect moment to show yourself some love. Remember when you had time for face masks, body scrubs, long baths? This is your time. This is so important to your well-being. You are worth being taken care of, even if it by you. Massage? Can be great for relaxing but can also make you feel grounded and refreshed.
Try out meditation, yoga or weight lifting. A little self-care goes a long way, or a lot of self-care can help with the “empty nest” experience.
Set Fresh Goals
An empty nest can open up a whole new world of possibilities. Think about anything you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for it. Career goals, volunteer work, classes — now is your chance to explore life. You will grow with these fresh goals. There are so many classes online if you aren’t comfortable going to a group by yourself.
As I have said there are so many people in the same spot as you. Ask if someone would like to join you or volunteer together.
Stay connected with your kids
Just because they’re out of the house doesn’t mean they’re out of your life. Keep in touch with calls, texts, video chats, or visits. This is just a new chapter — and it can be a really fun one. As it is exciting to see them have their own experience in life.
Reach out
If you’re having a tough time with the transition, talking to a professional can really help. Therapists and counselors are great at helping people adjust and find their way in new seasons of life. You may have free sessions with a professional through your work/church/community. There are people that want to help. There is no shame in talking to someone.
Having an empty nest can feel strange at first, but it’s also a chance to grow, rediscover yourself, and create a life that feels exciting and fulfilling. This is your kaleidoscope color it how you want — and you absolutely deserve to thrive.
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